Sometimes life gets so busy, too busy in fact that you hardly ever have 2 min to yourself. All my life all I ever wanted was to be a Mom. Truth be told, I wanted this more than I wanted a job...Shhhh. However I did not anticipate the amount of work that comes with being a Mom. It's even more work for me and my boyfriend because we live so far away from family. We hardly ever have anyone that can offer to baby sit for us and my boyfriend works a little bit far away from home. So as you can imagine, I end up being the one to handle all things baby :). I truly do not have a problem with this but I must say, it can be extremely exhausting at time.
I am a full time working Mom. Which means I have a job that I go to every single weekday from 8h30am till 4h30am. I also have a very busy and super energetic 2 year old, and an incredible Boyfriend whom we are trying to build a family together. I don't know about you but to me, these are the most important things in ones life. Now the challenge is to keep them all happy. To try and make sure that all is doing well and everyone is happy. To try and make sure that I don't burn myself out while I'm at it. Boy, is it difficult at times!
Back in 2015, I made a promise to myself to try and get the balance between my work, me as parent, as well as my relationship. This stemmed as a result of months of frustrations and a bit of unhappiness that came with the fact that there was no balance. I drifted through life. Took everything 1 day at a time and this just took every bit of strength I had in me. I was unhappy, constantly unprepared, and to a certain extend I was loosing confidence in myself. I needed something. Some sort of structure to help me get to a state where my life was well balanced. So I tried things differently.
PS: You can check out video if you prefer to watch/listen rather than read... https://youtu.be/t6oe6pmSmp0
I stopped taking work home
It was so easy for me to just grab my work laptop, take it home with me and try get some work done over the weekend(sometimes during weeknights) at home. Hardly ever spent time with my boyfriend and barely had a moment to myself. All I wanted to do was finish a presentation or map a process or optimize this and fix that. One Friday I left the laptop at work and I had the BEST weekend I've never had in a long time. It wasn't because I was on holiday or out shopping but rather because I was home with my daughter and boyfriend and we got to spend quality time together as a lil family. It might not be an easy thing for you to do but try it and you won't regret it. Never take work home.
I created a nap time and bed time schedule for my daughter
This may sound very obvious but to be honest, in my mind, a schedule for my daughter was the last thing I thought I needed. When I was pregnant, I always imagined myself as a mom that had it all together with no schedule for no-one. I imagined having the sweetest lil baby ever and having no struggles with anything. And yes, I have myself thee most sweetest lil angel ever but with this sweetness come a lot of energy and the will power to fight nap times. So i gave it a try. I started to slowly introduce nap time schedule and bedtime schedule as well. It is now a consistent part of our lives. Lil one is at nursery school during the day and takes naps there and we continue with the school's nap time schedule even at home.
Have a set routine for house chores
A messy house is one thing I cannot stand. To this day I a still trying to learn to let my daughter mess up the house with her toys. It is not easy but it's a learning curve. Make no mistake, I can learn to ignore toys but i doubt I'll ever be able to ignore dirt and dirty dishes around the house. This is where my house chores routine kicks in. Every single night before bed, I always make sure that the dishes are clean and pack away, the floor is swept and all the tables and counters are wiped clean. then on Thursday evenings I go all out. I mop the floors and disinfect everything - which explains why I'm usually tired on Fridays at work. This helps me stay sane knowing that the house is clean and my lil won't be picking up and eating things from the floor.
Have a conversation with your partner
More often than not, i've had people tell me that I need to go on a dinner date with my Boyfriend. And so many times I tell them, we don't need a date. Society these days has us believe that the only way you can spend quality time with your partner is when you are on a date outside home. Well, for us this is not the case. We (myself and my Boyfriend) found that we connect much better when we are at home than on a date. So every night we spend 30min to an hour after we get lil one to bed together just talking to each other. Sometime we even just lie down next to each other and we watch a movie. Sometimes we even take naps together. For us going on a date without the lil one is not possible and so we have to make do with the situation.
Never Over promise and Under deliver
In other words, be REALISTIC. Do not commit to things that you know you won't be able to achieve. This goes for both work and relationship. Don't promise your manager that you'll have a project delivered at a certain time when you know very well that there's constraints. Don't commit to going on a date with your boyfriend and/or partner when you know very well that you might not be able to make it. I always say rather Under promise and Over deliver.
Set some time aside for yourself
I never used to do this before, I didn't think I needed this. Until the tension on my shoulders grew bigger and bigger. It was starting to hurt to get out of bed at night. My whole body was aching and I had no clue what to do. Then I tried a hot with loads of bubble bath for about 30min to an hour every Sunday once Kbear is in bed for night time. the results are magical. I feel more energetic, less pain, and definitely less tension. Plus I didn't have to go to a spa for a treatment. Yes, it would be nice to go to the spa but right now, it's close to impossible for me to go unless they bring the spa to me. But until then, I am more than happy with my bubble bath. I am able to reflect on my goals and dreams while in the tub. I get to sit and clear my head of all the clutter and I love it. It's super easy, very convenient and extremely relaxing.
These are my top 6 tips and tricks of how i'm able to balance Being a Mom, Having a full time job, as well as Being in a Relationship. I've had quite a couple of people ask me how I manage to have everything so together. Some even asked if I had a live in Helper. The answer is right here.
Hope you enjoyed reading this and I hope you found it helpful as well. Sometimes all it takes is a lil shift of mindset and a lil bit of adjustment to all the small things to have a balanced and happier life. But until next time, Good luck finding the balance you are looking for.
xoxo
Oluv