All my life, all I've wanted was to be a mom. I spent most of my high school days day dreaming about what life will be like after I complete my degree. I had it all planned out with timestamps and everything. To say the least, it looked pretty awesome. So as I set off to University, I worked as hard as a soldier on a mission. I had my eyes on the goal and yep, it kept me very motivated. 6 years later, I was done with my degree, even got a post graduate degree and a good job in corporate. And then of course my lil goober was on her way. I did a load of research to get myself ready for motherhood and by the time my due date arrived, I was pretty certain that I know pretty much all there is to know about being a parent. Oh, how I was wrong!! So here I am, sitting right here today sharing some of the things that I truly knew and understood only after becoming a mother/parent.
- Being a mother doesn't change you, It enhances you
Yes, I know. We've all heard this before. A lot of people say that being a mother changes you. Well, I beg to disagree partially. I strongly believe that being a mother/parent simply enhances who you are. It gives a new sense of responsibility and as such you act and become more responsible. In my own opinion it is fairly difficult to change a person, irrespective of the circumstance and from personal experience, I have not changed 1 bit, just enhanced in so many levels.
- Just because I am a mother/parent doesn't mean I can tolerate bad behaviour in other kids
For the longest time throughout my pregnancy, i've always imagined myself being able to tolerate other kids/children's behaviour. You see, I have never been able to tolerate any kind of bad behaviour my whole life. Don't get me wrong, I know and fully understand that children, especially toddlers, have their very own way of expressing themselves but I also know that there are those that are just down right out of control. Silly me; I thought having a child of my own would help me be able to at least tolerate such. It goes without saying that even to this day, I still cannot stand out of control children and I work extremely hard to ensure that my child fully understands her limits. But I must say, I completely adore those lil goobers who harmlessly get up to their toddler/kid ways of expressing themselves.
- Breastfeeding does not take away the baby weight for everyone
Way before my daughter was conceived, I always took pride in the fact that I can eat whatever I wanted and wouldn't gain a single kilo. And of course, throughout my journey to becoming a mother, I was pretty determined to loose all the baby weight before I return to work. Without even a single doubt in my heart I wanted to breastfeed my goober. And no, this was not because I wanted to loose the weight, but rather for the nutritional benefits. When I found out that breastfeeding helps with weight loss, I was even more happier. I thought, oh, that's wonderful!! I get to bond with my baby, give her nutrition, and loose weight, all at the same time. WOW!! I was completely excited but sadly for me, that was not the case. I breastfeed my daughter exclusively for four months [and continued for another 7 months while supplementing with formula], gave her all the nutritions she needed, bonded beautifully with her, and yet kept all the baby weight. I did not do anything different with my diet but breastfeeding didn't help me 1 bit. So you can just imagine my disappointment when I realised that this is actually not entirely true. Loosing the baby weight is all dependant on how hard you work out post delivery and of course on ones metabolism and what not. Sure breastfeeding might help, but it certainly does not help everyone.
- Guilt has become a part of my life as a mom/parent
Raising a baby is hard work. Raising a well behaved baby is even more hard work. All those moments when you have to say NO and then watch your child scream his/her lil lungs out. Those that you had to start a sleep routine, or even take the lil one out of the bath tub! Who would have thought that this would make a person feel guilty? This is just one of the many perks that come with being a mother/parent. I for one still am struggling to let go of the guilt and to come to terms and/or rather understand that this guilt will all turn to good someday. I mean that is the point right? Feel guilty now, and be happy later - when your child is all grown up with impeccable manners. Well, i hope it is!
- It truly does take a village to raise a child
At first I thought this was a strange saying, especially looking back at my upbringing. It was just my dad, my mom, me and my lil brothers. No village was there to help us or at least help my mom. Anyway, things were different back then and now, I fully understand what this saying means. It has been 22 whole months and all i've got is just 7 nights off. I have no idea what going to the movies feels like, let alone just hanging out with friends for just 1 or 2 hours. I love my daughter and I love that we have become such best friends but a few hours won't hurt. Just time to hang out with my friend without worrying about whether the restaurant is toddler friendly or not. I guess what i'm saying here is that, if you have friends and/or family close by and are willing to help out with baby, accept all that help and go get some air. I wish my family was close but sadly they aren't and as such no village is here to help me raise my daughter.
Anyway, I could go on for days but I think i'm going to stop right here. These are 5 of the many things i've come to understand by just being a mother. Such an incredibly overwhelming task and yet so rewarding. So much guilt and yet so much joy. We all look forward to something happening post delivery and most of us research and get equipped with as much knowledge as possible but what matters at the end of it all is your Instincts. Always trust your instinct and remember that it's okay to change priorities. It is completely normal of find yourself in shock because the 1 thing your thought would happen post delivery actually doesn't happen at all. I have been there and I swear, it is thee most funniest moment ever, close to seing your lil one dance for the first time.
xoxo
Oluv
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